So here war, up to the second episode of 21 Johnny Street, created by Meagan and Bianca.
Mort was sitting at his desk with his laptop open in front of him, it was opened on word processor but he hadn’t written much just a couple of sentences – they were pretty crappy if he did say so himself. He had his elbow resting on the desk with his head in his hand as he stared at the screen - bored & lost for words to write.
It was morning time & everyone was downstairs enjoying their breakfast that their new maid Shmeagan had prepared for them except for Mort who had the luxury of eating in his study, but he wasn’t alone.
Raoul was downstairs eating his breakfast enjoying Big Brother with Gilbert’s Mother; Benny was downstairs muttering his opinions of the housemates & Sam…well Mort hadn’t seen Sam since last night when he’d gone outside looking all sad he was probably in that tree again or something still missing Joon. Chico was outside taking a pee with no one bothering to let him back in yet so the only person left that could be in the same room as him was Shmeagan.
The young Russian girl was sitting on the ground about a metre away from him, her legs crossed in front of her with her elbows resting on each knee & her chin in both of her palms as she stared at him in wonder.
Mort looked around slowly & saw she was still staring at him causing him to jump then smile awkwardly at her. She grinned at him then edged a little closer looking up at him with her big blue curious eyes.
Suddenly she took a sip of hot chocolate from her mug & his eyebrows shot up when he saw that printed on the mug was a picture of himself – not a good picture either.
“Can I help you with anything?” Mort asked hesitantly.
She choked on her hot chocolate putting the mug down. “GEH!” She jumped up leaning right up against him their foreheads touching as she stared into his eyes. “You can help me in anyway you like Mr Rainey.”
“You could take a step back.” He offered causing her to quickly zip back a few paces. “& you don’t have to call me Mr Rainey, you know?”
She giggled. “Really Mort? REALLY?”
He raised his eyebrows frightened by her wheeling his chair away from her a bit. “Um, don’t you have anything to clean or something? Anything?”
“Well now that you mention it, I really need to set up my tent.” She said squirming.
“Tent?” He repeated.
“Why yeeeeeeeeeees.” She replied going over to the spot in front of Mort’s bedroom door. “To make sure that I can be right near you whenever you be needing my help. I need to set up right here.” She patted the ground fondly.
He furrowed his brow. “You plan on sleeping right outside my room?”
“But of course Mort, if I don’t you could get into some sort of peril that I could have prevented.” She told him. “& I would never be able to live with myself if that ever happened.”
He looked at her blankly with no idea what to say to her – he had encountered a lot of weird fans over his career but she was by far the weirdest of them all. A tent right outside of his room really scared him, it was bad enough that Raoul came in to wake him up every morning to ramble on about Sam cooking breakfast with household cleaning appliances but now he was trapped in by this Russian weirdo.
The phone began ringing from this desk & he jumped wheeling his chair over to get to the phone as Shmeagan jumped up racing over to answer the phone snatching it off the cradle before Mort managed to.
“Guten Morgen, ‘zis is Herr Rainey’s residence, how may I be helping you?” Shmeagan asked in her Russian accent.
Mort raised an eyebrow at her. “I thought you were Russian.”
“Yah I vill be getting him for you.” Shmeagan said before covering the speaker of the phone to speak to Mort. “It’s someone named Bonnie, she is asking for you.”
“Bonnie?” Mort asked his whole face lighting up. “Really?” He took the phone from Shmeagan placing it to his ear immediately. “Hello.”
“Mawdy?” Bonnie yelled causing Mort to jump at the loudness of her voice. “Mawdy hawney, can you hear me?”
Mort furrowed his brow. “Yes Bonnie I can hear you; just lower your voice a little.”
“Wow your voice is so clear; this connection is amazing, eh.” Bonnie said.
“Why would you be worried about the connection not being okay?” Mort asked glancing over at his desk clock. “Aren’t you at work?”
Bonnie paused before replying. “Ummm….well, I’m kind of in a taxi…”
“Right.”
“… that’s driving me to your place.”
“What?” Mort snapped sitting forward in his chair. “Right now?” He smiled leaning back in his chair. “You’re shitting me, right?”
“Well, no.” She replied hesitantly.
Mort sighed placing a hand to his head as he closed his eyes. “But you can’t be coming, the place is a mess & I…I’m not ready for you at all. In fact I don’t think I’ll be able to fit you in I’ve been so busy with writing lately that I just haven’t been able to stop myself, I barely have time for toilet breaks.”
“Are you insulting me? If you were going to lie about being busy with something you could have lied about something more realistic, we both know you haven’t been able to write anything for nine months, come on Mawdy.” She stated.
Mort furrowed his brow childishly. “I have so been able to write.”
“You make it seem like you don’t want to see me, eh.” Bonnie said suspiciously.
“Well I do…”
“Great! See ya soon.” Bonnie said cheerfully before hanging up.
Mort sat there with the dial tone in his ear his mouth open in shock before the phone slipped from his hand then he stood up quickly rushing into his bedroom throwing his robe off with Shmeagan catching it as he began to change. He shut the door in her face before pulling it open snatching his robe off her narrowing his eyes at her.
“Get cleaning!” He said. “Have you seen this place, it’s like a bomb went off.”
“Bomb?" Shmeagan enquired. "I am seeing no bomb.” She replied after glancing around.
“Would you just clean?!!” Mort snapped causing Shmeagan to jump back. “We have to make it clean for Bonnie when she gets here.”
Mort snapped the door shut again but Shmeagan just stood there her brow furrowed still highly confused.
“Who is ‘zis Bonnie you speak of?” Shmeagan asked through the door.
Mort opened the door a little. “I said clean!” Before Shmeagan had the chance to say anything further he slammed the door shut in her face again.
Mort had felt so frustrated now that he was determined to impress Bonnie, even though he felt it was near impossible because these people he was accommodating were the most stupidest, ignorant people he'd ever met but he thought he would give it he's best. He gathered everyone up in the lounge room - except for Sam who he couldn’t be bothered trying to get down from a tree, he could stay up there for all Mort cared - and informed them on their choice of cleaning or getting kicked out of the house.
"But I dun' wanna clean." Benny muttered bitterly.
Mort glared at him and raised his finger threateningly. "You listen here, boy." Mort began his eyes narrowed dangerously at Benny. "Every day I have to put up with your babble and annoying shit so if you don't do this I WILL kill you." Mort took a deep breath and smiled, he all of a sudden had an upbeat tone. "Understand?"
Benny gulped in fear and nodded. As Mort left the lounge room and began up the stairs to his writing he quickly stopped and turned to the group realizing none of them had moved yet.
"That goes for everyone." He yelled.
Momma rolled her eyes mockingly as Mort disappeared up the stairs. She thought he was being a baby. "That boy needs tah loosen up. After all, it is MAH house!" Momma stomped her feet, as the floorboards creaked everyone screamed at her to stop.
Benny scurried away to clean so Mort wouldn’t kill him.
"Fuck, man. I do NOT feel safe when you are stomping, the whole house shakes like an earthquake. I'm a doctor of journalism, I deserve more respect!" Raoul protested.
Momma glared viciously and growled. "The only thing you're the doctor of is dregs', you ain’t good fer' nothin'!" Momma yelled.
Raoul just got reminded that he hadn't had his daily dose of ether and as soon as Momma mentioned drugs he searched through his briefcase and after some deciding with creepy finger flexing movements he grabbed out a cloth and sniffed heavily. He made some high pitched squeaky noises before he sighed and slumped on the lazy-boy no longer concerned about cleaning.
Meanwhile, Sam was picking at old bark on the dead tree right outside Mort's study window. He was so upset about Joon but still re-assuring himself that she would in fact be back.
She always comes back, he thought. But he continued to wait.
Benny had returned to the lounge room with an upset frown on his face. "This is boring." He pouted. "I'm the only person doing work besides Shmeagan and she’s just ironing Mort's socks and underwear. Who does that?"
Raoul furrowed his brow at Benny. "You're bored are you, how 'bout a trip to Las Vegas?" He suggested with a wild grin on his face.
Momma and Benny groaned. They both moaned out 'no'.
"No?" Raoul repeated. "Well I got a whole suitcase full of interesting things we could do!" Raoul's eyes shot up as he reached for his suitcase and opened it, revealing to everyone his collection of drugs, his pride and joy.
Mort glanced over to the lounge room and saw them chatting amongst themselves, he was not impressed by this. "You three! Get to work, you slackers!" He shouted.
Benny scuttled to Raoul's bedroom and got a vacuum cleaner, while Raoul and Momma continued to refuse to do any work.
"I hope Sam's ok." Momma whined. "He shouldn’t be up in that tree all by himself, he could get hungry!" Momma stomped her foot down and whined out to Mort.
"What is itttttt?" Mort demanded.
"Where's that maid of yours! I want her to make Sam a sandwich! He-ya could be hungreh!" Momma whined aggressively.
Mort rubbed his eyes in frustration and called out to Shmeagan, before he finished rubbing his eyes Shmeagan was standing right next to him with a pile of his underwear close to her chest.
"Yessss, Mr. Rai-ah I am meaning Mort, how can I be of assisting?" She said smiling awkwardly, and batting her eyelashes.
Mort flinched and flared his nostrils in disgust. "Uh, Gilbert's Mother wants you to make Sam a sandwich" Mort told her carelessly, flicking his wrist.
Shmeagan looked down the stairs where she saw Momma looking up at her with her raised fist, glaring at her with hungry eyes.
"DO IT!" Momma snorted.
Mort turned at Shmeagan and nodded. "Well, you better do it."
Shmeagan raced to the kitchen and made loud clanging noises, a minute passed and she was finished, she was about to leave out the door headed for Sam’s tree when Momma stopped her.
"Tell Sam that I made it!" She barked.
Shmeagan continued outside and glanced at Sam up in the tree. "Gilbert's Mother has prepared a sandwich for you to be eating." Shmeagan stated, passing him the large sandwich.
Sam smiled and thanked Shmeagan politely, he took one bite and found it was delicious, he was about to comment in the sandwich but Shmeagan had disappeared back into the house to annoy Mort. Sam shrugged and took another bite of his sandwich.
"Mmm, this is a good sandwich" He told himself happily.
Sam's sandwich slipped from his hands and he gasped and screamed like a girl as he saw his hopes and dreams shatter to the floor, his eyes watered.
"MY MANWHICH!" He wailed, cupping his fists and shaking them back and forth.
Back in the house, Raoul had found a fly swatter to entertain himself with while he was stumbling around the place, trying to keep balance and failing miserably.
"Pigeon fucker, the world is moving, the bats are coming, we're under attack by a gigantic jack hammer!" Raoul yelled and swatted his fly swatter erratically and started slapping the furniture.
"Back you savages! Back!"
Shmeagan had happened to be glancing over from the kitchen as she waited for the jug to boil to make hot chocolate and thought what a weirdo he was. "He's stranger 'zan I is!" She said to herself.
While Mort couldn't concentrate up in his computer chair because of Raoul's obnoxious yelling about various objects that were 'out to get him', he shook his head and groaned.
This is gonna be a long wait, he thought to himself.
Momma had fallen asleep quickly and was snoring loudly not even noticing Raoul jumping around behind her waving his fly swatter around crazily shouting various insults to the couch she was sitting on.
As Sam was moodily squirming around in the tree impatiently wafting for Joon's return he suddenly heard a car approaching the house. His eyes grew wide and he smiled optimistically.
"She's back." He whispered to himself. He was so excited and frazzled that he finally jumped out of the tree and ran through the house, frantically raving that Joon was back. Raoul jumped from his seat with his fly swatter armed tightly in his hands.
He furrowed his brow quite decisively at Sam then glared. "Sit-down you weird fucker." Raoul protested, flaring his nostrils and widening his eyes. "Now, smoke some grass, take some ether, whatever it is you have to do to get the job done, just calm yourself down." Raoul said soothingly, reaching up to pat Sam on the shoulder.
Sam didn't mind that Raoul was touching him, he was just happy that Joon had finally come to her senses and returned to him, he couldn't stand feeling so empty anymore. He scooted over to the door and saw the taxi parked right outside the house. He ran out of the house then ran over to the taxi and pulled the car door open.
"JOON! I'm so glad you're back!" Sam proclaimed. He leant back in excitement and opened his arms expecting a hug from his beloved Joon.
A lady with black frizzy hair slyly slinked out the car, turned to Sam and squinted. "Whoey boy?" Bonnie snorted before spitting on the grass.
Sam stood still for a moment processing his thoughts. He took a while examining her before glaring eerily. "You…" Sam pointed confused. "…you're not Joon." He scratched his head, his brow furrowed in confusion.
Bonnie shook her head and grinned. "Nope, I'm Bonnie, eh. It's nice to meet you." Bonnie reached out her hand, ready for Sam to shake it but he ignored her and pouted all the way back up to his tree.
Bonnie shrugged and collected her suitcase. She walked up to the door and knocked the beat of 'Funky Town' on the hard Pine Wood until someone answered. Shmeagan was in the kitchen, sipping her hot chocolate with her favourite Mort Rainey mug she bought on eBay when she heard the door knock.
"Somebody answer the goddamn door, please." Mort groaned from his computer chair while trying to relieve his writer's block by playing with a slinky.
Shmeagan gagged on her coffee and ran to the door with her mug firmly in her hand. She opened the door. "Good morning-k, Mort Rainey residence, how can I be of helpings for you?" Shmeagan smiled oddly before taking another sip of her hot chocolate.
Bonnie bobbed her head up and down and grinned widely. "Hey, I'm Bonnie, Mawdy's girlfriend, eh." Bonnie once again, reached her hand out, with expectations of it being politely shaken but Shmeagan gagged on her hot chocolate again and sprayed it all over Bonnie's hand before dropping her mug, shattering it on the floor.
Mort glanced over at the door and saw Bonnie. He scuttled down the stairs and hugged Bonnie tightly.
"Bonnie! I'm so glad you're here!" Mort proclaimed. "I was going mad with these ignorant hicks!"
Shmeagan looked down at her shattered mug and sobbed loudly, scooping up all the pieces in her hands.
Mort and Bonnie shared a sloppy kiss that lasted for about 3 minutes which gathered everyone's attention because of their loud moaning noises. Everyone had stood right near them and watched them closely. Benny had muttered something stupid but no one had paid any attention to him.
When they finished, Mort looked around him and glared at them all.
"Well why don't you just take mah PICTURE!" Mort spat.
Everyone just stood there and pretended as if nothing happened waiting for Mort to introduce Bonnie to them...except for Benny who was laughing, thinking he was telling a joke.
"Ok!" Benny squealed dumbly before reaching in his pocket and taking a picture of Mort.
Raoul forced Benny back into his shed so he wouldn't annoy anyone else with Benny muttering the whole way while Shmeagan remained on the ground looking up at Mort with hurt in her eyes.
After a while Raoul re-entered smiling embarrassingly. He jerked his head backwards and laughed briefly.
"Sorry. He's a drug addict." Raoul circled his fingers around his head.
Benny came running back out from the toolshed and whined he was sorry to Mort. Bonnie looked at him and shook her head to Benny before patting him on the shoulder.
"You need help Robert." She said grimly with her head facing the ground.
Benny furrowed his brow stupidly at Bonnie. "Robert?" He repeated. "I'm Benny"
Bonnie sighed "Yeah, Robert, Benny. Same thing." She flicked her wrists impatiently at Benny. "The point is. You need help, and I know somewhere you can get it." She insisted.
She reached in her pocket, shuffling around before she pulled her hand back out & handed him a card.
Benny furrowed his brow once again, in his efforts to copy Mort's behaviour and hesitantly took the card. "Narcotics anonymous?" He read confused while muttering heavily.
"HEH?" Bonnie yelled while cupping her ear in Benny's face. "Sorry, I must be going deaf eh!"
Benny glared at Bonnie before glancing back at the card and laughing. "I think this is for you, Raoul." He mocked.
Bonnie had bit her lip and sighed deeply, shaking her head hysterically. "Oh no, he's in denial!"
Mort hissed at Benny angrily his eyes narrowed dangerously at him.
"Get over here!" Mort muttered aggressively while dragging Bonnie back to him, away from the 'freaks' while holding her close to him.
Everyone shared a brief moment of awkward silence. Bonnie looked at Mort with her eyebrows raised suggestively.
"Weeellll..?" said Bonnie.
Mort furrowed his brow innocently at Bonnie. "What?" He asked, confused and unaware.
"Well aren't you gawna introduce me to ya friends, eh?" Bonnie asked before hocking up some phlegm and spitting it on the welcome mat, inches away from Shmeagan’s face who shot up and finally joined the group.
Mort's eyes widened and he laughed hysterically, dragging it out to taunt everyone. "FRIENDS?" Mort scoffed loudly. He cleared his throat. "Freaks, Bonnie. Bonnie, freaks. Now let’s GO!" Mort pouted immaturely, stomping his feet on the ground.
Bonnie looked at them all and nodded smoothly before grinning. "Sweeeeet…I love freaks, got two of ‘em for kids."
Raoul scooted closer to Bonnie. "I'm Raoul Duke. I'm a doctor of journalism, you know?" He furrowed his brow and switched around his hand with the fly swatter in it before he shook Bonnie’s hand tightly.
"Pleased to meet chu', eh!" Bonnie insisted.
Benny raised his hand above his head. "Benny." He informed Bonnie before he waved to her.
Momma was asleep so Mort had to explain who she was. He pointed to Momma and sighed.
"And this is Gilbert's mother, she doesn't do much." Mort stated.
Momma snorted and rolled over slightly.
Bonnie furrowed her brow. “How does she move to go to the toilet?”
Mort shrugged
"Oh." Bonnie said suddenly remembering her encounter with Sam. "And who's da kid up in the tree?" She asked.
"Sam." Mort replied.
"And why IS he up in the tree?"
"His girlfriend left him, he thinks she'll come back so he’s waiting for her in a tree." Mort told Bonnie before shaking his head.
"Ahh, I see... eh"
Mort grabbed Bonnie by the arm and took her upstairs.
Shmeagan watched them walk off together and her lip trembled with sadness. Her knees fell to the floor and she flung her head towards the ceiling.
"Moooooorrt!" She wailed.
Raoul grinned and put his hands on Shmeagan's back happy for the opportunity to finally touch her.
"Don’t touch ME…" She snapped viciously. "…EVER!"
"You know what could cheer you up?" Raoul stated, raising his finger suggestively. "Some... ether!"
Shmeagan scoffed and turned to Raoul, glaring rudely. "I don't need your pity." She gathered herself together and stood up straight. She called out to Mort. "Oh Mort!"
Mort was informing Bonnie on about how much he hated these people occupying his house and when Shmeagan interrupted his Bonnie time, he didn't appreciate it.
"SHUT UP!" He yelled aggressively then continued on with his conversation.
Shmeagan quickly shut her mouth and sobbed quietly before pouting her way back down the stairs to meet with Raoul. “Give me ‘ze ether!" She ordered.
"Can do!" and he got the cloth from his suitcase then covered Shmeagan's mouth and nose as she inhaled deeply with her falling down to the ground with a dreamy smile on her face a few seconds later..
"And one for the doctorrrrrrrr." Raoul said as he then sniffed the cloth himself and again fell back into the lazy-boy leaving Shmeagan on the ground her foot twitching & her happy smile on her face.
Mort kept Bonnie upstairs in his room away from the freaks for as long as he could but after she’d unpacked some of her clothes she got excited as she usually did then told Mort she wanted a coffee & she wanted to see Chico. Mort led her down into the living room where Raoul & Shmeagan were sitting on the coffee table together laughing loudly.
Bonnie eyed them suspiciously as she followed Mort down the stairs before her attention was caught on Gilbert’s Mother who was glaring at them now that she had been awoken from her nap by their laughing.
“Ain’t you supposed to be Mort’s maid?” Gilbert’s Mother snapped at Shmeagan who hiccuped before she looked over at Gilbert’s Mother.
“Yah.” Shmeagan replied.
“Well doesn’t that mean you’re supposed to take care of his guests, like Sam who is sittin’ in that tree all alone, I don’t see you tryin’ tah get him out. Mort should fire you.” Gilbert’s Mother stated.
Mort paused nodding. “She’s got a point.”
Shmeagan suddenly jumped up at Mort’s presence, she straightened her shirt while Raoul just sat there curling his long legs up & picking his fly swatter back up. “I ‘vill be outside, getting down from tree Sam, yah?”
Mort furrowed his brow at Shmeagan’s odd speech before he shook his head. “Um…no, I think Sam will get down when he’s ready.”
Gilbert’s Mother’s mouth dropped open in shock while Shmeagan just nodded before sitting back down with Raoul putting his arm around her shoulders trying to protect her from whatever he thought was trying to attack them this time with her glaring at him. “He’ll probably die up there if you just leave him; he’s probably all bored & hungry. I don't want him to be left hungry!”
“Nonsense.” Mort replied waving his hand at Gilbert’s Mother. “Sam’s a smart witty guy he’s probably having the time of his life up there.”
Gilbert’s Mother glared at Mort leaving them all in silence with Shmeagan edging away from Raoul. Bonnie looked around at the state of Mort’s house when they were all interrupted by Sam yelling from outside.
“No Chico, don’t eat it, that’s not yours!” He yelled causing Bonnie to furrow her brow while Mort raked a hand through his hair even more irritated & embarrassed once again. “No, come on Chico I thought we were friends.”
“Shmeagan…” Mort began quietly through the corner of his mouth trying to make sure Bonnie couldn’t pick up on their conversation.
“Yah?” Shmeagan asked loudly completely ruining Mort’s cover.
Mort groaned rolling his eyes going back to speaking with his whole mouth. “…can you please do something about Sam?”
“Yah.” Shmeagan nodded before rushing outside with Raoul jumping up.
“I better help you.” Raoul said sprinting off after her.
“MY MANWICH!” Sam cried from outside.
Mort rolled his eyes as Shmeagan & Raoul went outside then he turned to Bonnie who was watching him suspiciously.
“Who are these people?” She asked. “I mean, I’m a teacher & I see a lot of weird kids but these people are freakin’ crazy Mort.”
Mort sighed nodding slowly. “I know, I know.”
A grin suddenly appeared on Bonnie’s face. “I should go watch them!”
“What?” Mort snapped as Bonnie moved past him going down the stairs over to the open door.
She waved to him over her shoulder. “Bring my coffee out to me, eh?”
Mort groaned punching the wall angrily as the door blew shut while Gilbert’s Mother just shook her head at him.
“You’re not gonna impress her by being all macho.” She said.
“I don’t remember asking your opinion.” Mort told her as he began going into the kitchen.
Gilbert’s Mother scoffed. “Psh, snob.”
Mort growled clenching his fists & gritting his teeth before he released his hands then stretched out his jaw it clicking loudly as he moved over beginning to make Bonnie’s coffee for her.
Bonnie hawked up the phlegm in her throat before spitting it on the ground beside where Chico was standing causing him to jump then run over to the side of the tree for protection.
“You wanna know what?” Bonnie asked Benny who was standing in front of her.
Shmeagan was half-way up the tree with Sam while Raoul was sitting on one of the lower branches of the tree smoking peacefully pretending that he was going to watch Shmeagan while he was too stoned to really care. Benny had come out from his toolshed to introduce himself better to Bonnie while Sam remained in the tree crying about his lost manwich.
“I wanna know what Mort did to that ex wife of his.” Benny said.
“Oh that’s what you said!” Bonnie announced loudly before shrugging. “Eh he cut her head off after he cut her boyfriends head off & buried them somewhere here.”
Raoul fell off the branch of the tree his cigarette falling out of his mouth, he fetched it off the dirty ground not even bothering to clean it off before he placed it back in his mouth. He rushed over to Bonnie. “He what?!?”
Bonnie shrugged pulling a packet of cigarettes out of her pocket casually. “What? You didn’t know?”
Benny laughed a little nervously scratching his neck with an ugly smile on his face. “No, he kind of left that part out when we met him.”
“Well I guess you don’t know about Shooter then.” Bonnie said her cigarette moving around in her mouth as she lit it with Raoul watching her in mad wonder.
“Shooter?” Raoul replied his voice hoarse before he looked over at Benny with a questioning glare.
“Yeah he called himself that a couple of times when he was angry before.” Benny told her.
Bonnie sighed then took a long drag from her cigarette. “Well that’s the other dude living inside of him.”
Raoul let out a low whistle impressed. “Imagine what the rent is on a body like Mort’s.”
“What?” Bonnie asked her eyebrows raised.
Benny laughed awkwardly before he put an arm around Raoul’s shoulders. “Don’t worry about him Bonnie, he’s a drug addict.”
Bonnie narrowed her eyes at Benny as she exhaled smoke blowing in his face. “I thought you were the drug addict.”
Benny chose not to reply as he quickly dived back into the questioning as Raoul moved away from Benny eyeing him suspiciously. “So does he have a split personality?”
“Yeah.” Bonnie said as if it was nothing. “You get used to it after a while.”
Benny nodded. “Sounds pretty sweet.”
Mort came out of the house with a beanie sloppily placed over his hair & a glare on his face when he found Benny muttering to Bonnie. As Mort was approaching them Bonnie hawked up more phlegm & spat it out causing Mort to jump back almost spilling all of the coffee without Bonnie even noticing him.
“Here’s your coffee.” Mort said sweetly to Bonnie before glaring at Benny. “What’re yew talkin’ ‘bout?”
Benny shrugged innocently tucking his hands into his front pockets. “We were just wondering what race Shmeagan is because she said she was from Russia but she speaks German.”
Mort looked at Benny suspiciously as he put an arm around Bonnie moving closer to her. “I’m sure Benny, I’m sure.”
Bonnie was looking up at Shmeagan who was trying to talk to Sam while hanging onto a branch that was bent at a weird angle. “If she’s not careful she’s gonna fall.”
“Doubt it.” Mort replied.
There was a large snapping sound then Shmeagan let out a shriek as she went flying towards the ground with Raoul scrambling over attempting to catch her. Shmeagan landed on the ground with a large thud while Raoul stood not too far away from her looking up at the tree & holding his arms out like he was preparing to catch someone none of them could see.
“I’ve got yah Shmeagz!” He yelled up to Sam.
Sam put a hand on the top of his hat & looked down at Raoul with his brow furrowed in confusion. “I’m Sam.”
Raoul jumped then looked down at the ground at Shmeagan who was groaning loudly with no one bothering to help her at all. “Don’t worry Shmeagz, I’ve got yah!” He yelled at Shmeagan.
Bonnie raised her eyebrows. “Someone should go help them.”
“Yeah.” Mort agreed with none of them moving, he suddenly furrowed his brow rubbing his arms. “It’s cold out here.”
“Yeah.” Bonnie agreed turning to him. “Let’s go inside.”
He nodded with both of them leaving Chico trotting along after them with Benny rushing after them pretending that he was cool like them. Sam sighed leaning his cheek against his fist as Raoul tried to help Shmeagan up but she didn’t seem to be going anywhere.
Shmeagan had now begun crying & complaining to Raoul about how Mort was ignoring her. Her cries were silenced when Gilbert’s Mother yelled at her to shut up & she jumped into Raoul’s arms in fear.
Once inside Bonnie decided Mort & Benny had to go back outside to have 'boy' time with Mort winging "I hate boy time" as he left with Benny walking along beside him trying to be his friend again.
As Bonnie sat down in the lazy-boy next to Momma, there was a brief period of awkward silence.
"Uhh" murmured Bonnie. "What's your name eh?"
Momma slowly directed her eyes at Bonnie. "Mah name's Bawnie, but everyone call me Mawma."
Bonnie smiled. "Your name's Bonnie? That's my name too, eh!"
Momma's eyes lit up. "NO SHIT! You gawt any kids?"
Bonnie rolled her eyes before groaning "Yeah, two of ‘em. Teenagers. I got a daughter, Donna, and a son, Donald. Plus I been divorced two times to Donnie, my late ex-husband, & my most recent ex Donnie Brasco. I still gots his name still."
Momma nodded. "Teenagers are the worst. I gots two daughters and three sons. But mah husband died. But one of mah sons, Gilbert, he's great. I want chu ta meet him. He's gawna come to dinner with us. Yeah, yeah he is." Momma started getting excited before yelling at Mort
"MORT! Get your butt in here now!"
Mort was in the middle of telling a fishing story when he heard Momma howling at him. He groaned and went to the living room.
"I want yew to invite mah Gilbert and his Joon for dinner tonight, so they can meet Bonnie, mah new best friend."
Mort furrowed his brow at Momma before turning to Bonnie who was nodding slyly at him.
"Uhh...ok." Mort walked over to the phone and flicked through the phonebook before punching in numbers on the dial and talking discreetly. He then slammed the phone down and huffed outside again not saying a single word to either women.
Bonnie pulled out a pack of cigarettes after Mort had slammed the door shut. "So Momma, you smoke?"
"Please!" Momma said before pulling out a lighter from underneath her. "And call me Bonnie…Bonnie."
Gilbert was sitting in complete silence as he drove his yellow truck through the main road of Tashmore Lake with Joon seated beside him her white helmet strapped onto her head tightly & a Tupperware container held in her hands securely. Gilbert was getting nervous about Joon meeting his mum, Joon got scared pretty easily & if the whale tried to get to her she might start muttering about what she wasn’t doing again – even if Gilbert had told Joon 50 million times to prepare herself he doubted that she had.
“Now Joon before we get to the house I want you to picture a whale…” He insisted their eyes meeting as he glanced over at her. She sighed a little looking impatiently at him. “…because that’s my mother.”
Joon shook her head at him as he looked back at the road. “I know Gilbert, you’ve told me at least 7 times in this past hour; don’t underestimate the mentally ill Gilbert we can hear.”
“I know, I know, I’m not underestimating you I’m just saying I don’t want you to freak out when you see her, because people usually do.” Gilbert said.
“I don’t have to prepare myself Gilbert I’ve already met her.” Joon stated calmly. “I lived with her for like a day.”
“Oh.” Gilbert replied before pausing nodding as they sat in awkward silence before he was pulled up at a red light & he glanced over at her. “Well she’s still a fucking whale.”
As Bonnie and Momma were sitting in the lounge room, smoking and complaining about their families the rest of group were busy preparing for Gilbert & Joon’s visit. They had to impress Gilbert so Gilbert’s Mother would settle down about how awesome he was & if they stuffed it up she’d go crazy on their asses.
Mort & Benny were setting the dinning table with Raoul sitting on a chair in the corner of the room pretending to be observing, correcting them all the time – which according to Raoul was all the time. Mort was getting angrier by the second at Raoul’s continual chatter & Benny’s muttering under his breath every single time Sam went flying past the window but he guessed it was better than being in the kitchen with Shmeagan.
Shmeagan was listening to some of her usual music that her iSchote was stuffed with singing along loudly about Mort himself in a terrible singing voice. Mort doubted highly there was actually any songs written about him this was probably just Shmeagan trying to impress him with how much she knew about him – not that Mort was impressed at all.
He had no idea what she was preparing them for dinner but there was a strong smell of corn coming from the kitchen, once again Shmeagan was probably just trying to impress Mort because she knew about his love for corn. Mort just ignored her long singing concentrating on getting the table-cloth to sit right because Raoul was yelling at him how it was slightly slanted.
Sam had moved from the tree outside Mort’s study to the tree outside the dining room window. He had rigged up some sort of swing over the highest branch & was now swinging past the window every second waving his hat around merrily pulling various face that were quite humours as well as adorable.
Bonnie & Gilbert’s Mum hadn’t moved from the lounge room at all, they were still smoking heavily yakking on about their ex-husbands. Bonnie was explaining all about how her latest ex-husband Donnie Brasco really wasn’t named Donnie because he was a secret agent & Mort didn’t want to hear that whole explanation again so he stayed well away from those two, he knew better than to interrupt two gossiping women.
As he & Benny were laying all the cutlery out on the table someone began knocking on the door. Everything suddenly paused with Sam freezing his swing looking around swiftly before climbing up the tree & out of sight.
“Someone’s at the door.” Gilbert’s Mum announced.
Mort rolled his eyes before going to the door with Benny following him not too long afterwards Raoul looking around suspiciously realizing that now that he was left alone he could sneak into the kitchen. Sam had positioned himself at the top branch securing his swing onto the branch waiting for the perfect moment to use it.
Mort opened the door to find Joon & Gilbert standing there, Joon was holding some sort of Tupperware container, which obviously had food in it – she thought she was too good to eat the food Mort got prepared for him, did she? Without even saying anything to Mort, Joon simply went flying into the house going straight into the kitchen leaving Mort & Gilbert to stand there looking at each other awkwardly, now that Benny had chased after Joon muttering about manners.
“So…” Mort began. Now that nobody else had come to rescue him he had to get himself out of this situation. “…you’re Gilbert?”
“Yep.” Gilbert replied.
“I’m Mort.”
“Oh.”
Mort paused biting his bottom lip & looking down nervously. “So…do you wanna come in?”
Gilbert shuffled his feet. “Well if you don’t mind.”
“You can if you wanna.” Mort told him shyly.
As soon as Gilbert was in the house & hanging up his coat Gilbert’s Mum had a bone to pick with him.
“You didn’t bring Arnie?” She hollered at him.
He sighed shaking his head. “No Momma.”
“Well, why not?” She snapped.
“I just didn’t.” Gilbert replied before Mort gave him the escape of sneaking into the dining room as Gilbert’s Mum began bitching to Bonnie about her kids again. “Yeah, it’s good to see you too Mum.” He said sourly to Mort.
Mort shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah well chicks, y’know?”
Gilbert nodded slowly. “Yeah well…”
“Ack!” Shmeagan screamed from the kitchen causing the men to jump before rushing in. “Miss Joon please be removing yourself from mine kitchen.”
Benny was standing in the archway watching the situation with a stupid smirk on his face. Joon had shoved Shmeagan away from the stove adding a bunch of things to Shmeagan’s cooking. Shmeagan was standing behind Joon trying to get her away from the stove & Raoul was standing behind Shmeagan just staring at her ass obviously unaware of the situation.
“You’re cooking this all wrong.” Joon told Shmeagan over her shoulder.
Shmeagan narrowed her eyes dramatically at Joon. “I know how cook corn forz my Mort, I know how cook it ‘ze way he likes it. You is ruining it!” When Joon didn’t move Shmeagan groaned turning to Raoul who snapped to attention. “Raoul, aren’t you going to do anything?”
“Oh sure, don’t you worry about it Shmeagz, leave it to me.” Raoul said putting his cigarette back in his mouth clenching it between his teeth before he moved her out of the way carefully going to Joon’s side. “Joon dearest, it’s been too long, I haven’t seen you in forever!”
Joon narrowed her eyes letting go of the wooden spoon & turning to look at Raoul. “What? It was only two days ago that I left.”
Raoul shuffled nervously before grabbing her by the upper-arms turning her back toward the doorway where he was facing. “Say, have you ever watched the cooking channel stoned? It’s the most fascinating thing in the word! Why don’t we go do that right now?”
“But…” Joon said trying to struggle against Raoul who was leading them out of the room with no one even bothering to help – best just leave Raoul to his job.
“GREAT!” Raoul yelled before shoving Joon clear out of the room then shoving Mort, Gilbert & Benny away he slammed the door shut. He dusted his hands off turning to Shmeagan very satisfied with himself. “& that is that.”
Now that they were kicked out of the kitchen; Joon, Gilbert, Benny & Mort moved into the lounge room only to find Bonnie & Gilbert’s Mum still bitching. Without any distractions, Shmeagan finished cooking the dinner quickly throwing away the casserole Joon had bought with them – no way was Shmeagan going to serve Mort that.
Outside the kitchen everyone was getting very antsy just wanting some goddamn food already. Even if Bonnie & Gilbert’s Mum had stopped bitching they were now trying to out due each other at whose kids were better.
“Oh yeah?!?” Gilbert’s Mum boomed at Bonnie.
Bonnie was sitting right on the edge of her seat glaring at Gilbert’s Mother with wide trying to be scary & failing eyes. “YEAH!”
They both glared, trying to stare each other down before they suddenly stopped & started laughing. Mort furrowed his brow from his seat beside Bonnie while Gilbert’s eyebrows shot up – freakin’ weirdos.
Mort caught Gilbert’s glance then rolled his eyes with Gilbert rolling his when Bonnie & his mum started staring each other down again. The kitchen door suddenly burst open with Raoul holding it open for Shmeagan as she carried a large pot into the dining room.
“Ist ready!” She cried.
After serving them all dinner giving Gilbert’s Mum hers in the lounge room on her couch in front of Big Brother Shmeagan sat away from the group at the table who were eating the corn suspiciously, aside from Mort who was practically inhaling it & Raoul who was trying to eat quicker than Mort just to impress Shmeagan.
Bonnie suddenly was pointing her fork at Gilbert & Joon accusingly. “So are you two together or what? ‘Coz the weird boy in the tree tells it differently.”
“Who?” Gilbert asked furrowing his brow before he was cut off by Joon.
Joon – who was obviously proud of herself for getting to sleep with someone who had such pretty hair – smiled proudly propping her elbow up on the table before flicking her short hair over her shoulder. “Well yeah, we are pretty much together, because you know I’m fantastic & Gilbert loves me.” She looked over at Gilbert smiling proudly as he just continued to eat. “Don’t you?”
He slurped on his corn looking up at her innocently. “Huh?”
Joon let out a high-pitched & obviously forced laugh before wrapping an arm around Gilbert’s shoulder. “Isn’t he just the cutest? & his hair is so much prettier than Sam’s.”
“Well for once Joon I actually approve of your boyfriend.” Benny commented causing Joon’s smile to quickly get wiped off her face. “He’s alright.”
Joon narrowed her eyes letting go of Gilbert as she glared across the table at Benny. “Gilbert’s better than alright, he’s damn fine. If you’re going to suck up to me Benjamin at least compliment my boyfriend correctly…GOD you are just SO stupid!”
Everyone was looking at Joon worriedly Raoul drummed his fingers on the table feeling it was his duty to get them out of this awkward moment – to make himself look good in front of Shmeagan. He looked around before he saw Sam sliding down the tree trunk back onto his swing.
Sam kicked the tree & began swinging in-&-out of sight as he went flying past the window.
“Oh look, there’s a freak flying past the window in a top hat.” Raoul told them with an excited grin.
Joon narrowed her eyes shaking her head at him as everyone began to look over. “Don’t say those kinds of things, it isn’t funny.”
“Hey Joon, he ain’t kidding.” Gilbert said nudging her before pointing to the window.
Sam was all dressed up in his suit with special tie & his top hat trying his hardest to impress Joon. He swung past watching them a couple of times before he realized he had their attention & began showing off. He did kicks taking his hat off & flinging it around the air behind him smiling widely.
Bonnie was so impressed she actually stood up & went over to the window thinking Sam was a street performer or something. She opened the window pulling her wallet out causing him to stop posing looking at her with his brow all creased as she began pulling money out.
“How much do you want to preform for us for the rest of the week?” Bonnie asked.
“Well…” Sam began smiling bashfully & stilling his swing. Bonnie pulled out eleven one hundred dollar notes causing Sam’s eyes to go wide & a wide smile to appear on his face. He stashed the money in his hat & began swinging around madly again doing extra wide smiles.
Bonnie clapped pointing at Sam as he swung past the window. “That’s my moo!”
Mort got up putting his hands on Bonnie’s shoulders trying to soothe her & get her to sit her crazy arse back down. “Bonnie, why don’t you settle down, sit back down & finish off your corn before someone else finishes it for you?”
“He’s so adorable!” Bonnie exclaimed before turning to Mort with a wild smile on her face. “Let’s adopt him!”
Mort’s eyes widened at her while everyone else watched Sam swinging past the window with smiles on their faces except for Benny. Benny was watching, being jealous of Sam as usual & muttering about something with a small smile twitching at his cheek.
Joon had her head rested in her hand as she shook her head in shame with Sam never taking his eyes off her as he swung past. She began muttering to herself shaking her head. “No I’m not…no I’m not!”
But nobody cared that Joon was talking to herself & probably having another mental breakdown – everyone loved Sam too much.
Shmeagan was getting bored with Sam’s performance she would much rather prefer Mort to be out there swinging around his pretty hair swishing in the wind so she got up stretching her arms out & letting out an over-exaggerated yawn getting everyone’s attention.
"Ah vell I'm pooped." She told them before shrugging, looking at Mort longingly as he looked back at Bonnie not caring about Shmeagan leaving. She sniffed dramatically before leaving the room.
Raoul watched Shmeagan depart the dining room with puppy dog eyes then followed immediately. Bonnie was still sitting at the dinner table leaning inwards, enjoying Sam's performance enormously. Mort scoffed and took the plates back to the kitchen before slamming them on the counter and making himself a coffee.
Bonnie, Benny, Joon and Gilbert were the only one's left at the dinner table leaving them in a n awkward silence, except for Bonnie who didn’t care about anyone else, she was too distracted by Sam.
She was still amused by Sam, laughing joyfully but Joon had furrowed her brow rudely at Bonnie because of it. She nudged Gilbert discreetly as Benny got up leaving the table muttering about his toolshed.
"Let’s get outta here, Gilbert." She whispered.
Gilbert nodded and they both stood up, announcing their departure.
"Wait Gil-bert!" Momma protested. "I want a kiss." She tapped her cheek firmly. "Riiiiiiiiiight here."
Gilbert's eyes widened. "Uhh, but…Joon and I-"
Momma narrowed her eyes "NOW!"
Gilbert scrambled to Momma and slowly made his way to her face then kissed her cheek, squinting eerily before walking swiftly back over to Joon grabbing her arm. "Let's get the fuck outta here Joon."
As they slammed the door and their truck whisked away Mort came from upstairs with his Shooter hat.
"Lights out" He whispered scarily and turned off the lights before slamming his feet up the stairs again, back into his room.
"Hey I'm sittin' here!" Bonnie protested before huffing and following her Morty.
As everyone was asleep (except for Sam who was weeping in the tree) Raoul sneaked out into the lounge room and started fiddling with things in amazement – half-asleep, half-high. He picked up the phone and gazed in wonder while he pressed buttons. He raised the speaker to his ear suspiciously before gazing into the kitchen & getting distracted dragging the phone along with him as he made his way into the kitchen. He went to the fridge looking for milk and shoved the phone in the fridge while guzzling all of the milk down then leaving the rest on the counter and walking back to his room.
The next morning, Mort was the first one to wake up and stomped downstairs looking for his caffeine rush. As soon as he got to the kitchen door, Shmeagan's face suddenly appeared and he shot back, falling to the ground.
"Good-morning-k Mort. I make your favourite coffee" She then handed it to Mort who was still in shock.
He glared at her and grabbed the coffee from her hands as she smiled hopefully at him. “You can go clean something now.”
Shmeagan rushed over to the sink that was half-full with dirty dishes & began cleaning again smiling at Mort who just shook his head at her.
Bonnie came into the kitchen, stretching and yawning in baggy old boxer shorts. Shmeagan glanced over her shoulder & when her eye caught on Bonnie she gasped in shock dropping the plate she had been washing. Mort jumped back in fear as Shmeagan pointed at Bonnie with wide eyes & a wide open mouth – Bonnie not even noticing her as she made her way over to Mort.
"You…you are vearing Mort's underclothes!" Shmeagan gasped before banging her foot on the ground.
Bonnie chuckled slyly before flicking her hair back. "Yeah well... we got up to a lot last night." She said raising her eyebrows up and down.
Bonnie and Mort looked at each other grinning as Shmeagan narrowed her eyes at them.
“I know, I heard it all from my tent last night.”
As Bonnie wrapped her arm around Mort’s shoulders too distracted by him to notice the crazy Russian freak that was Shmeagan Mort looked at Shmeagan with his mouth open in disgust. She looked at him with an unhappy pout causing him to feel a little weirdly guilty though it was soon interrupted when they could hear a muffled sound of the phone ringing.
Mort looked around trying to find where the phone was before peering into the lounge room where Gilbert’s Mum was sitting on the couch licking her fingers her other hand on her large belly. "Oh God, she ate it."
Momma wasn't listening to Mort and then yelled in a bored voice. "The Fridge is ringin’.”
Mort rolled his eyes at Momma. "No it's not, you crazy bitch"
Bonnie coughed obviously. "Uhh Mort…" She pointed to the fridge. "The fridge IS ringin'...eh/"
Mort huffed and pulled the fridge door open quickly before grabbing the phone out of the fridge.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" He yelled into the phone. "Oh…hi Joon..........what's that?” Shmeagan was quick to rush over to Mort’s side listening in carefully.
“Tupperware?” Mort repeated confused.
Shmeagan rushed over to the sink & grabbed Joon’s clean Tupperware container before rushing back over to Mort showing him the container.
“Why yes you did leave your Tupperware here........... yeah....... ok.... now's good.......... See ya then." He nodded before hanging up the phone with Shmeagan quickly taking it from him & placing it on the counter as Momma looked at Mort blankly.
"Who was it?" She asked.
"It was Joon. She left her Tupperware here, she's gonna come get it... with Gilbert, they’ll be here soon.”
Bonnie had now stolen Mort’s coffee & pulled up a chair next to Momma in the lounge room. Bonnie slurped on her coffee loudly causing Gilbert’s Mum to slowly look over at her. “What ‘cha watching?”
“Big Brother.”
“Really?” Bonnie asked perking up & turning toward the TV. “So has anyone tried to kill Michelle yet?”
“No not yet.” Gilbert’s Mum replied.
Benny and Shmeagan were outside competing for Mort's attention with Benny attempting to wash Chico. Chico was running around, barking while Benny tried to spray the hose at him. Chico was having fun, thinking it was a game and Benny was muttering, getting angry. Shmeagan was getting upset that Benny was washing Chico and she wasn't, she ran over and tried to snatch the hose off Benny.
"Muhhhh!" Benny wailed before snatching the hose behind him.
Shmeagan glared the evil German stare of death directly at Benny, but he just stood there oblivious - he is after all a fearless dumbass.
"Give me ze hoos!" Shmeagan demanded.
"The moose?" Benny inquired dumbly
"Der HOOS!"
"The house?" Benny was still confused, you'd think he would get the message by now - she is after all, a Russian German, so her accent is going to be different.
Shmeagan pruned her lips and tackled Benny to the ground, ripping his hair out with her teeth.
Growing up Shmeagan's father hosted wrestling matches that she was apart of, always with a male - She was 'The Fearless Shmeagz'.
As Benny and Shmeagan were rolling around on the ground, wrestling, they started to attract attention by a crowd of Chinese tourists sitting on the back of a truck.
"It's the fearless Shmeagz!" They all whispered amongst themselves before snapping pictures with the cameras that were dangling from their necks. They were so astonished but then quickly lost interest and drove away, taking pictures of Mr Griffith, and chanting "MR. SPARKLE!" excitedly a few still whispering about ‘The Fearless Shmeagz’.
Shmeagan heard her childhood wrestling name being said, and she quickly looked up but no one was there, while she had her head turned, Benny slammed her in the head with a bible.
Sam looking down from his tree had furrowed his brow. "Why.... do you have a bible" Sam asked, trying to sound superior.
"Why do you have a...” Benny was cut off by Shmeagan jumping up & kicking him in the face, she grabbed Chico’s lead taking him inside with her as Benny muttering about her. He collected his bible still muttering madly before he left for his toolshed as Gilbert's truck swung into the driveway abruptly almost running into the tree Sam was occupying.
"Wait in the car, Gilbert!" Joon yelled from inside the car. She got out and ran to the front door, glaring at Sam before she went in.
Mort was talking to himself in the mirror, accusing himself of being crazy while Bonnie and Momma had started betting on who would be the first to kill Michelle. They all stopped and stared at Joon at the front door who was looking at them all like freaks...but they just ignored and continued on with what they were doing before she arrived.
Shmeagan came lurking out from the kitchen slammed the Tupperware to Joon's chest. "Just take it!" Shmeagan cried before running upstairs to her tent with Raoul poking his head around the corner of the kitchen looking up the stairs after Shmeagan before shrugging & going back to his smoking of a light-bulb.
Joon shook her head. "They've gotten worse, they're worse that me!" She said to herself quietly before quickly contradicting herself "No they're not- no they're nooot" She moaned to herself before turning & leaving for the door.
Joon held her Tupperware container to her chest protectively as she stepped out the front door looking around suspiciously, as she was making her way across the yard, Joon caught sight of Sam again & glared at him, Sam saw Joon walking off and gasped before the branch he was on broke and crashed to the ground with him still clinging to it.
Gilbert got out of the car and rushed over to help Sam causing Joon to roll her eyes and huff, she slowly walked over - she didn't want to give the impression that she cared.
Sam came out of the bushes, moaning. "Ouch....ouch…”
Bonnie popped her head out the window. "I didn't say stop eh! And did I just hear E.T?"
Gilbert helped Sam up and brushed the leaves and twigs from his shoulders while Joon crossed her arms, pouting angrily.
"You aren't going to get my attention this time, Sam."
It all of a sudden started raining heavily. Joon then grabbed Gilbert by the wrist and dragged him away to the car, before they drove off quickly.
Sam stood there with watering eyes, looking so sad and heart broken - yet incredibly adorable! He fell to his knees with his head pointed to the sky and his fists high above his head.
"Nooooooooooooooo!" He screamed desperately.
Bonnie - with her head popped out the window, had furrowed her brow. "Why the hell is the theme from Platoon playing?"
Credits!
Main Cast
Mort Rainey – Johnny Depp
Shmeagan the Maid – Unknown
Raoul Duke – Johnny Depp
Gilbert’s Mother (Momma) – Darlene Cates
Benny Pearl – Aiden Quinn
Sam – Johnny Depp
Chico Rainey – as himself
Guest Cast
Bonnie Brasco – Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Joon Pearl – Mary Stuart Masterson
Gilbert Grape – Johnny Depp
Created by: Bianca & Meagan
Directed by: Meagan & Bianca
Written by: Bianca & Meagan
Edited by: Meagan & Bianca
21 Johnny Street is the original creation of Meagan & Bianca; the characters of Shmeagan the Maid & Bonnie Brasco are also their own creations & all the episodes, plotlines & etc are thought up by the creators therefore meaning if you want to use them you have to pay us!.. Or you know.. inform us and give reference ^_^
21 Johnny Street is funded by ‘Tack & Bowie Productions’ in associated with ‘Make it Bacon Baby Pictures’. The creators wish to thank Johnny Depp & urge you all to go see Sweeny Todd when it is released this Christmas!
- - - -
Note: Here we are again, this is ALL fiction, there isn’t a bunch of Johnny Depp characters living together in Morton Rainey’s house because that would be too much like heaven for us to handle. It’s not real & it’s all made up by the creators (Meagan & Bianca- those wonderful bitches) & if you steal any of it we’ll find out & we’ll set Shooter onto you..
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awake
quixotic
cold
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okay